hi. my eyes are damn swollen and red now. guess why? dotz. quite obvious rite.okie. this is the second time i broke down. reli cried for damn long lahz!cry till nose block like siao.cry till i don't understand wad i saying.cry till i can't talk anymore.but, i'm feeling better already. =)thanks gal, for lending me ur ears. end up u listening to me, instead of me listening to u. hahaz! (dun wanna reveal ur name here, else ppl come pester u abt it. hahaz!)first time i told someone abt my everything. like 120% of it. it's not easy. somemore, suddenly got the feel to talk abt it. wa. the atmosphere la. once emo, everything also say out already.sigh. but, i thought the first will be a guy. ya lahz. my future bf. but too bad ar, future bf. u be second to know k??? =) eh bf, u know liao, must love me more k! hehex. omg. i'm like so retarded. talking to like dunno who in the world.well. i should go wash my face and slp liaoz. else, tomor jing wen will kill me!!! hahaaz. meeting to do proj tomor lahz. sure cannot wake up liaoz.and shall blog abt amy's 21 bday celebration soon!! happy!!!and strange. i not very emo now lehz. why this entry so happy ar. should be sad one lor. hmm. hahaz. wdv. anyway... it shall be the happy colour!!! PURPLE!!! =DNitez all! sweet dreams to me!Labels: another me, emo-ing, lol, Ring Ring
I really miss him.
Someone, Please pull me out from these.
Help me escape from this..
Help me get over this and move on.
Or rather, Help me revert everything back. Please.
My private life, social life, sch life, and all,
gradually eating me up at the same time.
Please don't ask me if i'm all right, coz i don't wish to lie through my teeth.
I really wish i can open up, and discuss about this.
But, the right person just haven't yet appear.
1 or 2 know about this. But, not eveything.
Or rather, would you still accept me for who i am, if you know everything?
Or rather, would you even think i'm just making a fuss out of a peanut?
I need to grow up fast, coz eveything can be solved this way. Maybe.
But, i can't.
How i wish i can just break down and cry easily.
This will make everything feel lighter and better. I believe.
But, i can't.
Piece them up, and that's about everything.
Feeling this way now, doesn't seem right.
Looking at the victims from the disasters, reminds me that i'm a fortunate human being.
I should learn to live happily, and be optimistic.
Revert me back to me old self. Please.
Labels: another me
WOW. juz realised the last time i blogged is sunday. oh wells. super a lot of things haven blog yet. well, i think juz let me blog abt wad happened today. hahaz. else, i think a lot of ppl will come pestering me with questions, which is wad happened today. (esp, the one i met outside the library. hahaz! i'm on the phone u know?! hahaz. oh well. i guess it's too big a shock. hahaz!)
OKAYY. i suppose, the most surprising thing tt everybody ard me, saw today is tt I WORE A DRESS! hahaz.well, no specific reasons. if there is, i juz feel like wearing it today! coz i love it! hahaz! and it's like a bit jap... =x (i tink sin hwee will oppose like siaoz, saying it's not jap-looking at all.. ahhaz!)i like it lehz. match wid my bag somemore. wid my bag, even more like jap student lor. hahaz! i bought it some time ago at fleshimp. but, didn't get any chance to wear it. so, yea. today, juz have the FEEL. else, buy nv wear like waste money lehz. okie. fullstop.okayy! ppl! satisfied!? hahaz. don't come stopping me and ask me tons of questions! hahaz!COME ON! IT'S JUZ A DRESS!!! --yea rite, a dress on yt... rare plz. hahaz! wdv.but horz. i reli like it man. super like a good student when i wear it. hahaz! gained some unique experiences. ahhaz! won't disclose it here though. ask me personally, esp those bitches. u know who u're! hahaz! =)and u know adler always super pervertic when u talk to him. but this time i won! hahaz! super funny!!AFTER LECTURE:adler: eh. u got wear shorts underneath ur dress or not.yu tian: no lehz.adler: *give tt kind of face* and said sth not nice to everybody's ears (as usual), but i forgot wad. hahaz!yu tian: why? u wanna see is it?OMG. funny sia. his expression. i bet he didn't expect i would say tt lor. but to win him, no choice lah hur. hahaz! Oh and! i love my classmates! =DD i'm beginning to love them more!they even know tt i wear jeans and t-shirt everytime to sch lahz! den they ask me, why i wear till so nice today. hahaz! okie. i know tt's like quite obvious. but, well...okie. the ANSWER TO THE BIG AND POPULAR QUESTION OF THE DAY.NO, I DON'T HAVE A BF CURRENTLY LAHZ! hahaz! tt's not the cause of today's dressing.oh! too bad for ppl who didn't see me today! hahaz! rare chance plz! hahaz. and yea. sorry, no pics! hahaz! =Pokie! pardon me if i'm not speaking sense here. coz i'm reli tired. okie! time for my slp! early tut tomor!!! nitez! =DLabels: another me, lol, wardrobe
i'm super tired. quite a long day. went shopping with sheila at bugis today. had wanted to shop for shoes, coz 3 of my shoes died on me. zzz.
in the end, it was like a makeover trip for me, thanks to sheila. hahaz! i told her when i wore this outfit, which i used to wear, and look at the mirror in the morning, it kind of dun match with my hair. it's like my hair is kinda cool and mature, whereas i'm wearing kind of "childish" (deemed by sheila) clothes. so, she say, "ya. time to buy more clothes. hahaz!" okie, her intention was good anyway. she had a hard time persuading me to buy them. hahaz! she say her mouth very tired. but in the end, sheila nv buy anything at all lorz! not fair!!!
yea... actually, i love the things i bought also! hahaz. a top, jeans and shoe. i nv tot tt i can wear those kind of clothes u see. although it will be a great change.
hahaz. but i dunno when i'll wear them, coz like so not me. omg. i tink ALL my friends will be SUPER DUPER SHOCKED PLZ.
well, time for D-Gray Man and then, rest. have to wake up early tomor. nitez!Labels: another me, hairstyle, wardrobe
hahz. got home at 11 plus. met wileen for gym today. but blur us. gym today opens before 5pm. thus, we went to starbucks and chill. =)
my mum asked me this before i went out, "today is public holiday, gym got open mehz?"
i stunned. what she said makes sense. zzz.
gym opens till 5pm. but, wil and i met at 7pm. =.=
we planned tomor's outing. wa. sianed. wdv u do on the weekends is expensive. so, we planned a quite boring outing. hahaz! the one we normally do -- singing.
anyway, the staff at starbucks is interesting. hahaz. shall not elaborate abt it coz i'm quite tired now.
btw, i'm having a stomachache. zzz. sure lao sai later.
anyway, I'M HEALED! =D
but i still feel like cooping myself at home. hahz.
for once, i believe the saying tt, sleeping is a way of avoiding ur problems.
oh yes. did u realise? the stars and moon are very bright today! wish i could raise my head and look up at the sky for a long long time, while walking. but couldn't, coz i'll surely trip while walking. who doesn't trip while walking and looking at the sky at the same time?
well, i figured out a way to do so... shall not disclose it here! hahaz. the method's kinda lame too.
anyway, yea. i have always hoped to find a vast place/field to lie down and look at the sky till i fall asleep. wouldn't tt be a pleasure and relaxing experience? perhaps east coast park? hmm... but i guess finding companion for this activity will be difficult. coz to some, it might be boring.
oh ya. i was being "scolded" or nagged at, when i told meng tt we'll be going bedok reservoir park to picnic in the night. hahaz! coz, he say we sure kanna rob or sth. hahaz! he so cute. oopz =X hahaz. qiu ping, reli, choose him as ur husband lahz! he so good. hahaz! luckily qp dun come read my blog one! else, she's going to run after me with a chopper. lol.
okie. i'm reli tired. i tink i crapping liao. nitez!Labels: another me, meet-ups
day started great today. but, happiness was sent deep down into the drain.
so, i'm still a person who can't be trusted on simple stuffs. can't help it, and i can't blame anyone. it's the bad image i portray. nobody shall ever understand, coz i can't even tell anyone abt it. =.=
i guess it'll take me some time to digest and forget abt this.
sometimes i feel like breaking down into tears. once, i broke down in tears over the phone, but not totally, coz my family was ard.
strangely, i poured almost everything to the listener, who was still a mere stranger at tt time. i realised i don't have the courage to tell anyone close to me abt my problems, not even my sec sch friends.
one sentence to sum up:
My complicated life causes me to be an indecipherable human.
plz don't think i'm exaggerating, coz u don't know what's happening.
i wish there will be a familiar shoulder for me to cry on through the night.
sorry if you're being affected by this post, and sorry if this is going to cause you to be worried abt me.
this is just the other side of me, tt u don't get to see.
i guess for tonight, i should get a good sleep.
Labels: another me
