wa! i haven slp lehz! die.tomor, or rather later, got sip briefing lehz! at 10am.omg. hope i can wake up!!!speaking of this. i'm reli a year 3 student now! omg. internship coming soon! and i still have no idea wad i wanna do. and worrying abt whether i can get into the uni with my bad results. reli have to buck up for year 3. i dun even know if i wanna go into the uni. but, i dun wanna join the work force so fast. omg.I'M SUPER SCARED!!can somebody juz stay by my side and talk to me!!many things happened. but no time to blog abt them.ppl whom i stupidly believed they changed, didn't. was being set up again 2 days before fowc. hahaz. kind of emo-ed a bit. well, i guess the wound's still there, and thus, i now know the reason why i nd retail therapy so badly after my camp. anw, i learnt sth new and lame today.when having msn chats.type "*one" and u get the "i'm" thingie. hahaz!and brudder = brother.super farniee hur.... nitez! sweet dreams for me tonight plz.Labels: advice plz?, Hate the Complicated World
i'm juz so so so so tired today.looked damn sianz in sch. very tired lahz. all the projs. finally over.now left wid 1 presentation, 2 indiv assignments, 2 tests and 2 exams.i juz realised i wrote this in previous posts too. seemed to be counting down...very tired. luckily i juz switched on the com for fun.else, i would have forgotten to do my fest peer appraisal. and went to slp. damn sianz. okie. don't wish to blog abt anything now.ye.a. going out to sing wid linda, kian yan, ros, davis, and dunno who else, tomor!sigh. although i promised myself today morning to save more $$ this week . but i still promised to appear for the singing session juz now. zzz. alamak. sure broke again.okie!time for my slp. hahaz. nite nitez!Labels: Hate the Complicated World, What's happening today?
firstly, instead of me proving edwin wrong.the prawn proved me wrong.did i say this correctly? aiya. so confusing. wadever.zzz. so, know wad i'm talking abt le hor.eh. joined them for lunch and a heart-to-heart talk wid wileen, john, ros and qq. although qq left halfway. i was quite touched by qq lahz hur. elaborate more next time. wounds tt had long healed.
tear up.
salt added on it too.
we shouldn't even have tot abt it.
now, it's only disappointment.
juz as wad i have said yrs ago.
there's no point explaining.
a period when i was really hurt.
moments when i cried. the ones over the phone listening, remained silent.
they knew tt was the only way to console me.
lend me their ears.
i tot i was strong.
i tot i didn't mind all tt. juz as wad i told ros and qp.
now, bringing it up again.
brought tears. but i won't allow it to flow again.
no time now. ttb last min cork up. zzzas much as i wished to blog, time don't allow. and yet, i blog quite long liaoz. -.-and stomachache again today. acted up halfway in coffee bean. but not tt pain anyway.why my stomach so weak again?!ytd also.fri also. i can't think of wad food i ate tt caused my stomach upset. coz me n ros basically ordered, shared and ate the same food for our breakfast-cum-lunch and dinner. and qiu ping reminded me after a phone call.PEPPER!zzz.
now i know.
ps: despite the title, i still enjoyed today. at least there was laughter. =)Labels: Hate the Complicated World, What's happening today?
when i was abt to click on "Publish Post", "it" happened again...
totally no mood to post tt entry now.
it 100% does not match with my current mood.
i was typing out my entry for today happily...
juz when i was abt to publish the post, there was this commotion.
it is common. in fact, frequently. ever since 7 years ago.
no one will understand this post.
i thought this time round, it would be like always.
a few mins and it would end. no other additional stuff.
i stopped whatever i was doing.
went out of my parents' room.
things are getting worse.
judging from the situations tt happened previously.
i knew tt this is going to happen sooner or later.
no doubt. it happened.
words,
sentences,
body language,
actions,
disappointment,
accumulated saddness.
the fierce eyes,
anger,
no sense of guiltiness or any signs of repentment.
tears swelled up in my eyes.
there is nothing i can do.
i've tried everything. from the hard way. the soft way.
all these years.
it's not going to change.
nobody will understand.
how i wish somebody would.
how i wish i would have the courage to cough this out to someone.
i know i'm not brave enough.
if not i would not have been suffering alone all these years.
no one understands.
no time for me to be emo. coz it will be another sleepless night. to concentrate on my projects.
i have to move on.
sorry for this emo post. i juz have to vent it out.
even typing it, is difficult.
Labels: Hate the Complicated World, What's happening today?
finally managed to complete tt 1 task of my allocated work for my proj... zzz... really need 101% concentration man...shouldn't have continued to read tt comic... so sad now... why the author must twist the story till like that? just to keep the story going and producing more volumes of the comic...i dun have the mood to watch tv... dun have the mood to eat...dun have the mood to study...dun have the mood to do projects...dun have the mood to go out...dun have the mood to talk to anybody...even sleeping is also made difficult... keep thinking abt how sad the story is... those idiotic third parties... and those who are especially scheming...how the hell does the story plot produce such an impact on me... zzz...those evil ones! retribution retribution retribution...i tink i'm going mad...Labels: emo-ing, Hate the Complicated World, What's happening today?
i can't believe mum actually brought up the issue... i think she can't take it anymore.. after bottling it up and suffering in silence... what will happen one week later?my eldest bro is depressed.... i can see... although he rarely expresses his feelings... i can see from his face that he is feeling down and insecure now... his eyes were filled with tears juz now.. whereas, my youngest bro said that he is actually very happy...i dunno what to do and what i can do... my siblings, still young, are going thru this kind of stuff... i'm always worried that it would affect them as they grow up... not denying, i admit, i myself has been affected all along, since 3 or 4 yrs ago... i can't rmb when it all started... it had been so long... so long... i'm sick and tired of it...it's so difficult.. what's happening... what's going to happen...counting down to that one week... hoping everything will be back as normal is totally impossible.. this i know, coz i have said and done everything i could in the past few yrs...and lately, a lot of things happened... i came to realise that some friends whom i treated sincerely... i don't really know how to put this into words... but juz tt i feel that i'm taken for granted and that ppl thinks that i'm a person who would not have any problems or worries... it doesn't mean that i, who always love to smile, am problems-free... it's juz that i wish to brighten up or cheer up someone's day with my smile when they are having a bad day... it's also becoz i don't wish to cause my friends to worry abt me regarding my probs... tt would add a weight onto their chest wouldn't it...?end of story...Labels: Hate the Complicated World, What's happening today?
