i can't believe mum actually brought up the issue... i think she can't take it anymore.. after bottling it up and suffering in silence...
what will happen one week later?
my eldest bro is depressed.... i can see... although he rarely expresses his feelings... i can see from his face that he is feeling down and insecure now... his eyes were filled with tears juz now.. whereas, my youngest bro said that he is actually very happy...
i dunno what to do and what i can do... my siblings, still young, are going thru this kind of stuff... i'm always worried that it would affect them as they grow up... not denying, i admit, i myself has been affected all along, since 3 or 4 yrs ago... i can't rmb when it all started... it had been so long... so long... i'm sick and tired of it...
it's so difficult.. what's happening... what's going to happen...
counting down to that one week... hoping everything will be back as normal is totally impossible.. this i know, coz i have said and done everything i could in the past few yrs...
and lately, a lot of things happened... i came to realise that some friends whom i treated sincerely... i don't really know how to put this into words... but juz tt i feel that i'm taken for granted and that ppl thinks that i'm a person who would not have any problems or worries... it doesn't mean that i, who always love to smile, am problems-free... it's juz that i wish to brighten up or cheer up someone's day with my smile when they are having a bad day... it's also becoz i don't wish to cause my friends to worry abt me regarding my probs... tt would add a weight onto their chest wouldn't it...?
end of story...
